JANUARY, Sliding Into Insanity.

My name is Josephine Williams, I’m fourteen years old and I am losing my mind. Of that last point I am utterly convinced and I will tell you why. You see, my mum died eight months, two weeks and four days ago. I’ve stopped counting the hours but its almost nine o’clock, so that means we’re coming up to eight months, two weeks and five days. I don’t count, I don’t need to, I just know. Maybe this is how I’ll be for ever, a living recorder of every minute passed since she was here. 

But that’s not why I’m losing my mind.

I think I’m psychotic, I’ve looked it up. It said online that psychosis is “a psychiatric disorder such as schizophrenia or mania that is marked by delusions, hallucinations, incoherence and distorted perceptions of reality.” Its not that I believe everything I read on line, I’m not a complete idiot but “distorted perception of reality,”  that’s the bit I’ve got. It must be, there can’t be any other explanation. But I suppose I should start at the beginning, particularly if this diary is all that remains when I’m declared absolutely, positively and without a doubt, insane.

The Beginning. Mum Died. It’s the beginning of everything now.

Dad couldn’t cope so he booked me into boarding school. Thanks Dad. Charlie finished school last year so he’s staying on the farm but apparently its not the place for me now that Mum’s gone. Charlie reckons Dad’ll miss me too much and let me come back before the end of term. But I think once I’m gone, he’ll find out its easier not having me around and that’ll be it until I’m eighteen, or expelled – whichever comes first.

So Mum’s dead and I’m here at the ‘Very Expensive Boarding School for the Offspring of the Pretentious and Entitled.’ Okay, its not really called that but you should have seen the looks Charlie’s ute got from the Mercedes and Bentley (yes I said Bentley) driving parents at drop off.  Its lucky Charlie’s beyond good looking so the Chanel wearing Mums overlooked the dirty ute. Well I think it was Chanel but what would I know?

Charlie got all the good genes, which didn’t leave a whole lot for me. He looks like Brad Pitt before he got old, you know the ‘Thelma and Louise’ Brad Pitt not the ‘Inglorious Basterds’ one. He was my key to the cool kids at my old school, Charlie that is, not Brad Pitt. The girls all thought being nice to me was a sure way to win Charlie over. It worked often enough for them to keep trying, so I was cool by default. But here, without Charlie, I fear I will be nothing.

Sorry, got distracted again, back to why I think I am losing my mind…